Funnies for Teachers & Jokes below for the kids. |
Jokes suitable for the classroom:
             | Why was the broom late? -- It over swept! What kind of hair do oceans have? -- Wavy! What bow can't be tied?-- A rainbow What runs but never walks? -- Water! What dog keeps the best time? -- A watch dog What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer? -- The Space bar! What has a bottom at the top? -- Your legs! How do you make a milk shake? -- You give it a good scare! Why did the clock get sick? --It was run down! Why are hurricanes named after girls? -- Did you ever hear of a himmicane? What is a tornado? -- Mother Nature doing the twist! Why do you go to bed? --'cos the bed won't come to you! What did one heart say to the other heart? -- Nothing silly,organs can't talk! What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? -- Time to get a new fence! What starts with a "t", ends with a "t" and is full of tea?-- A teapot! Why does an elephant wear green sneakers? -- So he can hide in the grass! What letters are not in the alphabet? -- The ones in the mail, of course! What did the snake give to his love on their first date? -- A goodnight hiss! Why did the boy eat his homework? -- His teacher said it was a piece of cake! Why is Basketball such a messy sport? -- Because you dribble on the floor! What are two things you cannot have for breakfast? -- Lunch and dinner. What did one wall say to the other wall? -- I'll meet you at the corner. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? -- Because it felt crummy. What did the alien say to the garden? -- Take me to your weeder. Why was the math book sad?-- Because it had too many problems. What runs but doesn't get anywhere? -- A refrigerator. What happens to a hamburger that misses school? -- Lots of ketchup time! What's taken before you get it? -- Your picture. How do you make a hotdog stand? -- Steal its chair! What did the carpet say to the floor? -- I've got you covered. What do ghosts eat for dinner? -- spookghetti What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon? -- A sour puss! Why do birds fly south for the winter? -- Its easier than walking! What goes up and down but doesn't move? -- The temperature! What 2 days of the week start with the letter "T"? -- Today and Tomorrow! When does a cart come before a horse? -- In the dictionary! Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? -- She couldn't control her pupils! What did the tie say to the hat? -- You go on ahead, I'll hang around! What is the center of gravity? -- The letter V! What did the stamp say to the envelope? -- Stick with me, we'll go places! What would you call two banana skins? -- A pair of slippers. What's red and flies and wobbles at the same time ? -- A jellycopter! What flower grows on your face? -- Tulips. What kind of fish can't swim? -- dead ones Why did the picture go to jail? -- Because it was framed. Why did the computer squeak? -- 'Cos someone stepped on it's mouse Why did the baby strawberry cry? -- Because his parents were in a jam! What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? -- spare ribs What is a ghost's favourite dessert? -- Boo-berry pie Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit? -- both gingernuts How can you make a glow-worm hapy? -- Cut off its tail, he'll be de-lighted What do ghosts drink at breakfast? -- coffee with scream and sugar Why don't mummies take holidays? -- they're worried they'll relax & unwind? Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? -- to get chocolate milk What is green and pecks trees? -- Woody Wood Pickle Where does a general keep his armies? -- up his sleevies What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot? -- a cool walkie talkie What do skeletons say before dining? -- Bone appetit What is a ghost's favourite fruit? -- Boo-berries Why did the teacher wear sunglasses ? -- Her pupils were so bright. |
